Episode 4
Forty Stories - "Cold Feet"
I'm doing a little survey to find out more about ALE listeners. There are just four tiny questions. It will only take a minute or two, and will help me a LOT! Please check it out. Thanks, Cooper
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Season 3 Episode 4Thank you for downloading this episode.
Here is the video about "dude" that I was talking about. CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO
👉The story begins at 02:15 and the tiny lessons begin at 16:30
👉You can find the transcript after the Credits!
👉Visit our website to download the Podcast User's Manual and find out more! https://alittleenglish.com/
A Little English is written, produced, recorded, edited, mixed, mastered and scored by Edward Cooper Howland.
All stories are either in the public domain, or written by me.
Copyright 2024 Edward Cooper Howland
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TRANSCRIPT:
Hi. My name is Cooper, and this is…A Little English. Every episode, I read a short story. After the story, there are three tiny lessons.
Today’s story is about the theater. I did some acting in college, so I know a little about what it’s like to be on a stage. The play in the story is a real play. It’s called “Take Me Out,” by Richard Greenberg, and it’s about baseball. Specifically, it’s about what would happen if the best player in all of professional baseball came out as a gay man. It’s an amazing play, and if you ever get a chance, you should definitely see it. It also has a lot of naked men in it. So yeah, content warning, you will hear the word naked at least nine more times in this podcast. There’s nothing sexual, but…the story is about taking off your clothes on stage. I’ll talk more about this play after the story, because I don’t want to spoil anything. For now, let’s enjoy.
The name of this story is….Cold Feet.
Act One - Tech Rehearsal
“Look,” said Tom, “I get it. It’s a locker room. We’re in the shower. People shower naked. It makes perfect sense. But I’m just saying, why do I have to be naked?”
Tom stood on stage, in his bathing suit. All the actors were wearing bathing suits. He could hear the air conditioning rattle. He could hear the lights humming. Everyone was staring at him. Raymond got up out of his seat and ran his fingers through his hair.
“You have to be naked, Tom, because everyone has to be naked. You knew that when you signed up for the play. You already agreed to it.”
“I know I did. But maybe, like, can’t I just wear a towel? I’m just one of the guys on the team. Dante and Robbie, those guys, the show is about them. They’re the really important ones. But I’m just in the background anyway, so why does it matter if I’ve got a towel on or not?”
“Because you agreed to it, Tom! Because everyone agreed to it. Because you’ve known for six weeks of rehearsal that everyone gets naked!”
“ I thought I could do it,” said Tom, shifting his weight from side to side. “I really did. It didn’t seem like such a big deal when I signed up. It’s just like, my mom’s gonna see it. And my sister.”
“Oh my god.” It was hard to see anything from the stage, with all the lights, but Tom could tell that Raymond was furious. He was walking up and down the aisle, shouting. “Six weeks rehearsing with these Americans and now Tom wants to change the whole script.”
Robbie stepped to the edge of the stage. “Raymond? Ray? Maybe we should stop for tonight? I’ll talk with Tom. Okay?”
Raymond disappeared into the foyer, swearing.
“Come on,” said Robbie. “I’ll buy you a beer.”
Act Two - The Shack
“Just think about the rest of us, OK? We all gotta go through this together, man. It’s just like in the show. We’re a team. Everyone gets naked. Together. We’re a team.”
The two of them sat at a cheap table, drinking cheap beer. On the karaoke stage, some college kids were singing old hair metal, their friends cheering them on.
“Is it really about your mom?”
“No, I told her as soon as I got the part. She thinks it’s pretty funny, actually. My sister, too. And the thing is, I know they will make fun of me for it. And that’s fine. They always do.”
“So…..? What’s up, man? You’ve been working out. We all have. You’re gonna look great out there. Unless….do you have something…you know……..weird down there?” Robbie was pointing.
“Me? No, no.” Tom leaned back in his chair. “That’s all really, incredibly normal and boring. I think…it’s just…So many people, you know? Like, hundreds of people. Every night. Strangers. They’re gonna see me. All of me. I just hate it.”
“Yeah but that’s the thing, right?” Robbie leaned in. “That’s what the show is all about. It’s about vulnerability. It’s about being honest with strangers about who you are. And, like in the show, some people love it when you’re honest and vulnerable, and some people just hate it. Because you being honest makes them uncomfortable.”
“Maybe…being…vulnerable….makes…….me uncomfortable.”
“Well, Tom, I think you may want to change careers. How can you be an actor if you can’t be vulnerable? That’s what we do. We get on stage, and we open ourselves up. We show the audience something true. Something honest. And maybe they like it and maybe they don’t. But that’s not really our problem. We just have to do our job.”
They stared at each other for a moment.
“Now, look. Let’s just rip the band-aid off, ok? Let’s go get naked. Right now. ”
“What, like here? In the bar?”
“No, dude, I don’t wanna get arrested. Come on, we’ll go to your place, and we’ll take off all our clothes, and stand in the living room and practice our lines.”
“That's the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard in my entire life. What if my roommates come home?”
“They can read Dante’s part. Come on, man, let’s go be vulnerable.”
Act Three - Opening Night
It was easy.
It was just as easy as wearing the bathing suit was. He took off his robe backstage, and he walked out into the warm lights, and he was naked.
Tom was naked on the stage, pretending to take a shower with his buddies. He pretended to shampoo his hair while his friends argued about what it means to be a man, and a hundred and fifty people, - including his mom and sister - watched them silently.
Until -
“Oi! You horrible little creature! Give it here! No, no, give it!”
The lights were so bright, Tom couldn’t see anything offstage.
Raymond was in the audience. He was screaming, swearing, and…was he…fighting with someone?
“You give me that phone right this instant, young lady!”
Someone was making a video. Some girl was making a video of Tom and Robbie and everyone else on stage.
“I swear to god, I’m going smash that phone into a thousand pieces. You’ll go to prison for this!”
Raymond and the girl were rolling in the aisle now, fighting over the phone. The whole audience was talking, standing up, trying to see what was happening. They all had their phones in their hands, taking video of the fight.
Tom looked at Robbie, then the other guys. They all, very slowly, reached for their towels.
OK, so you should know, I wasn’t in this play back in college. But a bunch of my friends were. And they all had to take off their clothes and pretend to shower together, and…more. No spoilers. And the thing with the camera? That’s real. In May 2022, Jesse Williams, who you might know from Grey’s Anatomy, was starring in “Take Me Out” on Broadway. And somebody took a video from the audience, and put it on the internet. It was a big scandal. I’ve been reading about it all week. And kind of obsessing over it because back in 2005 or whatever, when my friends were doing this play, we didn’t have smartphones. There wasn’t such a big risk. But now…it’s much scarier to do stuff like that on stage. Oh, and the thing with the director attacking the audience member? It didn’t happen with Jesse Williams, but it has happened. You can google it.
Do not use your phone in a theater. It’s a really bad idea.
Let’s do some tiny lessons?
The Big Picture tonight was definitely NOT taken on a phone in a theater.
My question is, what is it that Tom is so nervous about? Why is he uncomfortable taking his clothes off on stage? Take a minute and think about it…..I think it’s just like he said. He doesn’t actually want to be honest. He’s afraid of getting hurt.
And do you think we can keep our clothes on in the Dictionary Disco?
We are gonna talk about one of my favorite words. DUDE. It just means, “man.” But you can use it absolutely any way you like. “Dude, that’s so cool.” “Hey dude, are you hungry?” “Wow, look at this dude over here.” I’ll put a link in the show notes to a scene in a film where the only dialogue is…”dude.”
The other vocabulary word is “vulnerable.” It just means you can be hurt. So like, Superman is invulnerable. Bullets just bounce off him. But going on stage, and trying to share something honest and true. That makes you vulnerable. You can be hurt. That’s what the story is about.
And how about a Melody Moment?
We’ve talked about MMMM. And we talked about NNNN. But. There’s another one. It’s like their cousin. NNNNGGG. It’s the sound at the end of the words SING, and THING. So. You start with NNNN, so your mouth is a little open, and your tongue is touching the roof of your mouth. Then move your tongue back about a centimeter. The whole tongue. And then, I don’t know how else to say this, you push the sound….out your nose. NNNNG. Watching. Waiting. Thinking. Oooh, that one has it twice!
Let’s do the credits!
Thank you for listening to Season 3 Episode 4 of A Little English.
Every episode is produced entirely by me, Edward Cooper Howland, here in Hiroshima, Japan.
If you like the show, tell someone about it! A recommendation from a friend is the best way to get someone to listen, and I would really appreciate it.
This season, all the stories are written by…me! I use chatGPT by Openai.com as an editor because I can’t afford to hire a human. It’s an amazing, free piece of software, and you should check it out.
Again, thank you so much for listening.
For now, be kind to yourselves, and to each other.
Transcript
Hi. My name is Cooper, and this is…A Little English. Every episode, I read a short story. After the story, there are three tiny lessons.
Today’s story is about the theater. I did some acting in college, so I know a little about what it’s like to be on a stage. The play in the story is a real play. It’s called “Take Me Out,” by Richard Greenberg, and it’s about baseball. Specifically, it’s about what would happen if the best player in all of professional baseball came out as a gay man. It’s an amazing play, and if you ever get a chance, you should definitely see it. It also has a lot of naked men in it. So yeah, content warning, you will hear the word naked at least nine more times in this podcast. There’s nothing sexual, but…the story is about taking off your clothes on stage. I’ll talk more about this play after the story, because I don’t want to spoil anything. For now, let’s enjoy.
The name of this story is….Cold Feet.
Act One - Tech Rehearsal
“Look,” said Tom, “I get it. It’s a locker room. We’re in the shower. People shower naked. It makes perfect sense. But I’m just saying, why do I have to be naked?”
Tom stood on stage, in his bathing suit. All the actors were wearing bathing suits. He could hear the air conditioning rattle. He could hear the lights humming. Everyone was staring at him. Raymond got up out of his seat and ran his fingers through his hair.
“You have to be naked, Tom, because everyone has to be naked. You knew that when you signed up for the play. You already agreed to it.”
“I know I did. But maybe, like, can’t I just wear a towel? I’m just one of the guys on the team. Dante and Robbie, those guys, the show is about them. They’re the really important ones. But I’m just in the background anyway, so why does it matter if I’ve got a towel on or not?”
“Because you agreed to it, Tom! Because everyone agreed to it. Because you’ve known for six weeks of rehearsal that everyone gets naked!”
“ I thought I could do it,” said Tom, shifting his weight from side to side. “I really did. It didn’t seem like such a big deal when I signed up. It’s just like, my mom’s gonna see it. And my sister.”
“Oh my god.” It was hard to see anything from the stage, with all the lights, but Tom could tell that Raymond was furious. He was walking up and down the aisle, shouting. “Six weeks rehearsing with these Americans and now Tom wants to change the whole script.”
Robbie stepped to the edge of the stage. “Raymond? Ray? Maybe we should stop for tonight? I’ll talk with Tom. Okay?”
Raymond disappeared into the foyer, swearing.
“Come on,” said Robbie. “I’ll buy you a beer.”
Act Two - The Shack
“Just think about the rest of us, OK? We all gotta go through this together, man. It’s just like in the show. We’re a team. Everyone gets naked. Together. We’re a team.”
The two of them sat at a cheap table, drinking cheap beer. On the karaoke stage, some college kids were singing old hair metal, their friends cheering them on.
“Is it really about your mom?”
“No, I told her as soon as I got the part. She thinks it’s pretty funny, actually. My sister, too. And the thing is, I know they will make fun of me for it. And that’s fine. They always do.”
“So…..? What’s up, man? You’ve been working out. We all have. You’re gonna look great out there. Unless….do you have something…you know……..weird down there?” Robbie was pointing.
“Me? No, no.” Tom leaned back in his chair. “That’s all really, incredibly normal and boring. I think…it’s just…So many people, you know? Like, hundreds of people. Every night. Strangers. They’re gonna see me. All of me. I just hate it.”
“Yeah but that’s the thing, right?” Robbie leaned in. “That’s what the show is all about. It’s about vulnerability. It’s about being honest with strangers about who you are. And, like in the show, some people love it when you’re honest and vulnerable, and some people just hate it. Because you being honest makes them uncomfortable.”
“Maybe…being…vulnerable….makes…….me uncomfortable.”
“Well, Tom, I think you may want to change careers. How can you be an actor if you can’t be vulnerable? That’s what we do. We get on stage, and we open ourselves up. We show the audience something true. Something honest. And maybe they like it and maybe they don’t. But that’s not really our problem. We just have to do our job.”
They stared at each other for a moment.
“Now, look. Let’s just rip the band-aid off, ok? Let’s go get naked. Right now. ”
“What, like here? In the bar?”
“No, dude, I don’t wanna get arrested. Come on, we’ll go to your place, and we’ll take off all our clothes, and stand in the living room and practice our lines.”
“That's the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard in my entire life. What if my roommates come home?”
“They can read Dante’s part. Come on, man, let’s go be vulnerable.”
Act Three - Opening Night
It was easy.
It was just as easy as wearing the bathing suit was. He took off his robe backstage, and he walked out into the warm lights, and he was naked.
Tom was naked on the stage, pretending to take a shower with his buddies. He pretended to shampoo his hair while his friends argued about what it means to be a man, and a hundred and fifty people, - including his mom and sister - watched them silently.
Until -
“Oi! You horrible little creature! Give it here! No, no, give it!”
The lights were so bright, Tom couldn’t see anything offstage.
Raymond was in the audience. He was screaming, swearing, and…was he…fighting with someone?
“You give me that phone right this instant, young lady!”
Someone was making a video. Some girl was making a video of Tom and Robbie and everyone else on stage.
“I swear to god, I’m going smash that phone into a thousand pieces. You’ll go to prison for this!”
Raymond and the girl were rolling in the aisle now, fighting over the phone. The whole audience was talking, standing up, trying to see what was happening. They all had their phones in their hands, taking video of the fight.
Tom looked at Robbie, then the other guys. They all, very slowly, reached for their towels.
camera? That’s real. In May:Do not use your phone in a theater. It’s a really bad idea.
Let’s do some tiny lessons?
The Big Picture tonight was definitely NOT taken on a phone in a theater.
My question is, what is it that Tom is so nervous about? Why is he uncomfortable taking his clothes off on stage? Take a minute and think about it…..I think it’s just like he said. He doesn’t actually want to be honest. He’s afraid of getting hurt.
And do you think we can keep our clothes on in the Dictionary Disco?
We are gonna talk about one of my favorite words. DUDE. It just means, “man.” But you can use it absolutely any way you like. “Dude, that’s so cool.” “Hey dude, are you hungry?” “Wow, look at this dude over here.” I’ll put a link in the show notes to a scene in a film where the only dialogue is…”dude.”
The other vocabulary word is “vulnerable.” It just means you can be hurt. So like, Superman is invulnerable. Bullets just bounce off him. But going on stage, and trying to share something honest and true. That makes you vulnerable. You can be hurt. That’s what the story is about.
And how about a Melody Moment?
We’ve talked about MMMM. And we talked about NNNN. But. There’s another one. It’s like their cousin. NNNNGGG. It’s the sound at the end of the words SING, and THING. So. You start with NNNN, so your mouth is a little open, and your tongue is touching the roof of your mouth. Then move your tongue back about a centimeter. The whole tongue. And then, I don’t know how else to say this, you push the sound….out your nose. NNNNG. Watching. Waiting. Thinking. Oooh, that one has it twice!
Let’s do the credits!
Thank you for listening to Season 3 Episode 4 of A Little English.
Every episode is produced entirely by me, Edward Cooper Howland, here in Hiroshima, Japan.
If you like the show, tell someone about it! A recommendation from a friend is the best way to get someone to listen, and I would really appreciate it.
This season, all the stories are written by…me! I use chatGPT by Openai.com as an editor because I can’t afford to hire a human. It’s an amazing, free piece of software, and you should check it out.
Again, thank you so much for listening.
For now, be kind to yourselves, and to each other.
